I Let My Friends Write My New Year's Resolutions For Me. Here Is Their List.

It was a slow time at work. There were not as many incoming phone calls in the call center as usual. Although I try to keep my mind focused on work while I'm in the office (after all, that's why I'm there!), my mind drifted to thinking about the new year. What should I write down as my New Year's Resolutions?

 I was having trouble thinking of good resolutions. Most people write down, "Make more money" or "Lose more weight". But I was satisfied with my paycheck, and if I lost any more weight I would be invisible when I turned sideways.

Then I had a brilliant thought: I'll ask my co-workers to write a list for me!

 I opened up a Google Doc, named it "Tom Dale's New Year's Resolutions", and sent an informal link to some of my co-workers/friends. Within minutes the document was filled with their suggestions. Here is their list.

Repent from being reformed and turn to the truth of being an Arminian
Grow 2 inches
Hike the Grand Canyon
Train to be a ninja
Get a girlfriend
Stop listening to Joel Osteen
Embody the work ethic of Dwight K. Schrute
Own a beet farm
Go a whole work day answering the phone like Brett (using the old fashioned handset instead of the headset)
Tame a wild bald eagle
Raise Cattle
Ride a Caribou to work day
Train with the League of Shadows
Ride a unicorn
Hunt down 101 coyote pups and make them into a fur coat
Grow a bamboo plant
Eat figgy pudding
Buy your co-workers birthday presents
Be Batman
Buy  Jimmy Johns for lunch January 5th for your co-workers


These are some noble resolutions, to be sure. But I think that more could be added. What do you think I should do in the New Year?

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